News On The Content-Creator From Hell

Update On The Incarcerated

Many months have passed since Finch, the infanticide-addicted blogger, was thrown into a Rimini dungeon and the world looked on without pity. It is best to summarise those bleak events which led to his incarceration. He championed Toy Soldier and wrote hate-blogs about the little girl who killed Toy.

He eulogised Bubble Head, Toy’s long-standing mate and Nobel prize-winning poet of epic proportions (of drivel), and most importantly he got it wrong. He said the little toddler who killed Toy was an ice-cream addict and a heartless murderer but in a surprising turn of events, the authorities declared Toy was a pedophile and had courted the little girl and his very own death. She had defended herself admirably by burying Toy under a sand-castle where in excruciating agony he suffocated till the Grim Reaper shuffled him off. Finch, the blogger, was then grabbed and thrust into a cell alongside the disgraced Bubbly Mug (nom de plume for Bubble Head). It is there that he has languished for many months without any hope whatsoever of release.

BUT now he has been released!

A Different Type Of Hell

Many important intellectuals petitioned for his release (among them Jean Paul Sartre the second, a little known relative of the great existentialist). Jean Paul the second has written only one book called “Nausea Too”. The authorities were persuaded by the intellectuals – especially after trying to read “Nausea Too” – but Finch’s prison governors remained unconvinced and built a different type of hell for Finch.

Since his release, he has been forced to live in an environment where ridiculous toys stare at him from left, right and centre.

We went to interview the blogger from hell. No one, not even de Sade or Genet, epitomises vice in its extremes as does the content-creator from hell who we are very sorry to say is still being published on his own sites!!! His horrific words will ring in our ears forever. He shouted at us:

“Ye groovers and infanticiders everywhere, they’ve made me live with toys and I can’t even bung ‘em out, but I’ve already written to Rimini and asked for a day-visit from Toy’s murderer. I’ve stocked up with ice-cream, too, and with a bit of luck she’ll arrive in a lorry that’s full of sand and get rid of these reminders of my crime.” (Here Finch chuckles and points to the toys he hopes will be suffocated under new sandcastles!) “That’ll be a poke in the eye for the prison-authorities. I live in hope and I have also become a toyicider. I love (to hate) toddlers, infants and all things screechingly small. In addition, I loathe toys! Goes without saying!” he roars!

What will the future hold?

We received these words of “wisdom” with scepticism and can’t help but wonder if Finch will hang, draw and quarter that toddler. For the time being, like Napoleon in solitary confinement on the Isle of Elba, told not to keep having a bash at Europe, Finch is retired to full house-arrest with  toy-trimmings. He certainly can’t exit because of a tracker-beeper they have sown up his….eeer…..eeeer….eeeeeeeer……….internal posteriors. The world’s media keeps a close eye on Finch’s nether regions and on that house where it is rumoured Finch has imprisoned a young Thai virgin who took pity on him.

We await further developments.

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