I Lead A Weeping Friend Away From The Agogos

Do you remember my friend, Roy, the guy from the Midlands who shares his lady with Denmark? Denmark is a guy from Denmark who surfaces here in the Extreme City, Pattaya, every Christmas. Religiously he comes to see Roy’s long-time lady. But Roy doesn’t mind. Far from it, for it is Denmark who paid for Roy’s lady’s house near Chanthaburi and it is Denmark who gives her money when he comes. “Tides her over,” states old Royboy. Roy’s lady likes the booze. No, that’s an understatement. She loves the booze, and she used to work in all the hard-core bars in and around Pattaya. She it was who used to bring to ecstasy the forlorn punters in the Pomegranate Hostess Bar, just possibly the dirtiest, girly bar here on the dark side of Pattaya. Dark-side Pattaya is where this blogger is thumping out his pitiless post. Roy mourns that the sex-trade has taken its toll on Lek, his lady. She drinks to forget. I personally think she’s a very lucky lass because, believe it or not, Roy adores her. I’ve seen proof. There’s a photo of the kind, doting guy giving her the eye on a wee ship going up a brown creek near Cambodia, and the look – though besotted – is one of real pleasure, beholding his lady-love. Roy is in with the family as well, and they regularly turn up at his room (in their old banger) with a few retainers in tow and take Roy for a ride. But Roy is also an old fox and he is not in big debt – unlike Lek, her family and her retainers who are all thunder-struck debtors. Having said that, Roy still has a mortgage to pay and can’t really live in his three-bedroom house because of a few sallies into folly with his wife (yep, he’s still married) and with one or three other ladies along the way.

You will have realised that seventy-year-old Royboy is a romantic and a lover, and, as far as he can push it, Lek gets his love and his romance (and, of course, the beer, wine, whisky, rice rum and anything else she can lay her mouth on out of Roy’s fridge). Roy is a great friend of another old fox who surfaces here in Pattaya every three months : the great Rosta who is the antihero of “Great Tits I’ve Known (And Other Species)”! Rosta always chooses good friends for me, and a long time ago he took Roy under his droopless wing.

"Great Tits I've Known (And Other Species)"

The Novel Where Rosta Lives

It will come as no surprise after what I have related that I led a weeping Roy away from the agogos in Walking Street. He told me it was all too much.

“What, dear Roy?” I asked, bewildered.

“The agogos, the memories of what Lek has been through, the false fun, the bastards!” Roy confided, giving me the steely, wet eye.

Tonight, I am meeting up with The Romantic. I’ll suggest a local bar far from the pitiless, red lights of Fun City’s Walking Street.

Walking Street Where Roy Weeps

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